How many times have you set unrealistic New Year resolutions to only be disappointed when you didn’t achieve them? We are all guilty of it, well in fact 80% of new year's resolutions fail. So you are not alone.

New year is the perfect opportunity to start fresh, to become a “new you”, to build new habits and smash goals but do your goals align with your values?

If your goals align with YOUR values it will help you stay more motivated. Your values are unique to you, and the same goes for your goals. Remember that there is no "right way" to plan your future and that no one else's success road map will be the same as yours. When you begin evaluating yourself against others, it is simple to lose sight of your own objectives and hence you will most likely give up on your new year's resolutions.

If you are looking for a little helping hand to reconnect with your values, Amelia, a Melbourne career coach, can help you. Contact Amelia here.

Connect with your Values!

List all of your values and decide which ones are most important for your happiness and wellbeing (and why!). Values are priorities that serve as a reminder of what’s important in life, rather than just having a list of goals to achieve. Ask yourself if the values in your list are reflected in how you are actually living your life?

For example, if you identify self-respect as an important value to you, think about why and when?

When do you have the most respect for yourself? Maybe when you are doing something for yourself or speaking up at work when something doesn’t agree with you. Why is self-respect important to you? Maybe it helps you be less of a people-pleaser and allows you to always stay true to yourself!

Create goals then break them down!

Creating big goals are good but they can be too broad and aimless which can result in being placed in the too hard basket! Let’s use the example of spending less time on your phone as the goal you are wanting to set. Start by breaking the goal down, and work out how you spend the most time on your phone. Let’s take a guess.. Instagram! Spending less time on instagram is still a little too broad. If we break this down even more, we can arrive at more specific elements of the goal - such as set a screen time lock on the app or no instagram after 6 pm or when you go on instagram you are there for a purpose (to send a message, to post or like your friends post). All the makings of a great goal: a roadmap for behaviour that is based on pragmatics, values and relevance. Plus you are creating small concrete actions rather than broad, loose end goals. Melbourne career coach, Amelia, can help you break your goals down into small actionable and achievable ones that are aligned with your values. Chat with Amelia here.

Be Positive

It takes a long time for new behaviours to become ingrained, so it's important to assess your progress and keep your eyes on the prize. Try to put a positive spin on your actions by focusing on what you have gained rather than what you have lost. For example, with the goal to spend less time on the phone, give yourself a pat on the back when you reduce your overall daily screen time. Even if it's only a few minutes. It is all about the small wins!

Expect set backs and embrace them as opportunities.

Returning to old patterns of behaviour is a chance that seems like failure. Be curious (and gentle!) while examining what caused you to go off track this time, rather than criticising yourself for your mistakes or questioning if you even have it in you to bother. By analysing the circumstances around our mistakes, we can make some crucial adjustments and better position ourselves to face new difficulties. Writing a letter to yourself is a pretty magical experience and magical things can start to happen. Setbacks can be disheartening, Amelia, a qualified career counsellor in Melbourne, can equip you with the right tools to process setbacks and how to create a positive from them. Contact Amelia Here.

Write a letter to yourself

Instead of setting goals, why not write a letter to yourself, to help hit the core of your goals and values. No one will see this letter but you. It is NOT about resolutions, it’s about the feelings and values. You begin to live your life in accordance with your own internal desires and aspirations. When you are writing your letter, aim to include the below things.

What are the fears you plan to tackle, why are the fears holding you back?
What adventures will you take in the year to come?
How will you connect or reconnect with others in your life?
How will you plan to grow?
What can you do to serve others?

All in all, setting goals is a completely personal thing. We need to remember to transform our self judgement into patience and encouragement. Be grateful for all the small things you achieve. Chat with Amelia, a Melbourne career coach, about how you can create goals that are do-able and enjoyable, and most importantly, connected your values! Contact Amelia Here.

Amelia McDermott is a Career Coach and Coaching Psychologist, based on the Mornington Peninsula in Melbourne. With nearly 20 years of training and experience working as a psychologist, Amelia has a strong understanding of how to uncover what makes people tick, and how to help people find an authentic career that aligns with their unique talents and values. If you’re looking for Career Advice or Career Counselling, look no further than Uplift Coaching and enjoy a consultation with Amelia to see if a Career Coach is right for you. Book a consultation here.

Scrap the NY resolutions and reconnect with your values!